The Conservative Bulwark

I've been a bad, bad blogger lately. Tons of exciting stuff has been going down in recent days, but you've heard nothing out of me. It's a good thing I don't do this for a living!

Three things I'd like to touch on here...and they're all over the board.

1. Barackotology
2. AIG Bonuses
3. Russia sucker-punches the Porn industry

So March Madness is upon us and all across the nation, millions of people are shirking their normal responsibilities so they can channel surf between games all day long. Even the President of the United States is getting in on the action. ESPN was so excited that they decided to devote an entire segment of SportsCenter to Obama making his bracket. Now to be honest, I have no problem with this. If the man wants to take the time to study up on this year's field so he can knowledeably predict the eventual champion, then more power to him. Something tells me however, that if had devoted this much time to preventing Pelosi and Reid from reaming befuddling the American public with the "stimulus" bill, we may be in a slightly better position than we are today. But that's just me. Actually, the thing that irks me the most about Obama's bracket is that he and I have the exact same Final Four. BUT...he went 11-5 on opening day and I went 14-2. So there. Yay Conservatism.

The other big frackus in the news lately has been AIG and those pesky little bonsuses they handed out. This is a pretty complex issue (well...not really) and the current favored position to be in is the one lambasting AIG for paying millions of dollars in bonuses to employees. On the surface, its a PR nightmare for sure. However, when you apply a little thought to the matter it goes a lot deeper. AIG's contractual obligations to those employees outweigh any political grandstanding that a lot of people are doing now on Capitol Hill. Had AIG not paid out the bonuses, they would have been sued, under Conneticut law, and that would have ended up costing a heck of a lot more money in the long run. You can argue whether or not the bonuses were deserved all you want...that will get you no where. The bottom line is that contracts were signed and they must be honored. The stipulations of these contracts were well known when the "bailout" money was handed out. In fact, many tried to protect them **cough** Senator Chris Dodd **cough**. Chuck Schumer (the same guy who would show up to a toilet bowl cleaning if there were cameras) can bloviate all day about trying to tax the money into oblivion, but its not going to happen. Besides its highly unconstitutional. Yes, Virginia...there still is a Constitution.

In closing, and on a lighter note, I'd like to call out good ol' Russia for handing the porn industry the biggest blow in all of pornographic history...and unbelieveably, the Porn industry and Russia, don't even realize it. Little Artyon G. was born two weeks ago after a normal, healthy pregnancy. The kid wasn't all normal, however...in fact some might say he was born with super powers. You see he had two penises. That's right kids...TWO. Doctors immediately rushed him into surgery and after a very long and complicated procedure, they robbed him of his powers and made two into one. I'd bet my right arm that the doctor was a communist. I can picture the family scene about 15 years from now. Artyon is a shy mediocre high school student who never has never had a girlfriend. One night around the dinner table, Dad (who is hammered on Vodka) mistakenly lets slip the revelation that if only they had let little Artyon keep what God gave him, he'd probably be a lot better off. What happens next will end up on international news outlets everywhere. Artyon goes beserk, takes over Russia, invades Europe, and launches nuclear missiles at random targets around the globe. So essentially, Russia has destroyed a super hero...only to create a budding super villain. THANKS GUYS.